"Capture the Matrix - Your Life is Moments in His Time"

 "Capture the Matrix - Your Life is moments in His Time"

  A matrix is defined as 'a situation or surrounding substance within which something else originates, develops, or is contained.' It has several meanings, one of which is a 'binding substance'. As I wake up on this Shabbat (December 7, 2013, or 4 Tevet 5774 in the Hebrew calendar), I understand the matrix of my life has changed, evolved and will never be the same again. I pour my cup of coffee and sit on the sofa and try to get my thoughts and eyes to blink open at the same time. The sun is coming up in the East, and before I begin my day, I am feeling His. I remember what the Lord spoke to my heart not that long ago. 'Liz, things of this world will grow strangely dim. Yes, you are in this world, but you are not of this world. You are not part of this worlds system or economy. You are in my Kingdom". I remember the lyrics Helen Lemmel penned to that wonderful hymm, "Turn your eyes upon Jesus, Look full in His wonderful face, And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,  In the light of His glory and grace." There are days we get up, go to work, have everyday conversations, do everyday things, and on the outside, it is business as usual. We smile, laugh, get tired, get frustrated, end the day and go to bed. Yet, on the inside, The Master weaves His matrix of prophetic proportions, on a Kingdom, eternal level, a craftsmanship so rare and excellent, that if we could see beyond our mortal eyes and into the things of the spirit, we would see, an epic planet of redeemed souls is being created, one life, one breathe, one space at a time. If you only knew how rare you were!  If you only knew how important your life is to God! If you only knew how vitally important you are to the chain of events, in your circle of influence, you would realize your everyday stuff is but the modeling and glue for the Creators' Master Matrix: called the citizens of heaven. Your life would not feel the same if you could feel it the way God does. You are more than the particulates of matter that compose your body, you are the image of the incarnate God who lives from the inside out of you.
 

 Something good was on TV last night. I curled up on the couch with a favorite blanket, pets by my side. Tried to stay awake and listen to some bible prophecy scholars discuss the hour of time in which we live in. There are more prophetic events happening at one time than  you can ever imagine. The panel of seasoned saints and teachers cracked open the Book of Daniel, the Book of Revelation, Isaiah, Psalms, Genesis and the New Testament, and reeled off one verse after another, with matching current events we hear about every day on the news. One would have to be blind, deaf and dumb not to be even remotely aware we are living in the end, of the end of time. As I listened, I suddenly remembered how just 6 years ago, I was awakened to a a dream in which I saw the Lord, as it were, standing over the earth, and He looked at me, (more like into me) and said (without words, yet I heard Him) "I AM 5 MINUTES OUT". It was so real. I flew out of bed, turned on the PC, and began to do a word-study (if a thousand years is as a day' according to scripture, then a half-day, 12 hours, is 500 years. I made an chart incrementally and realized we are in the literal 'years' of the wrapping up of the 'scroll' (Revelation 6:14, Isaiah 34:4) . I made a chart for myself (not that anyone 'knows the day or hour') but we are commanded to know the season we are in. In fact, God calls 'wicked' those who won't or do not acknowledge or look for His return as soon.(Mt. 24:36-51).  All I know is the Lord let me know His return is much, much sooner than anyone thinks. I am not setting 'dates' or 'times' on bible prophecy, Prophecy is a measuring tool and a guidepost, and when you cooperate with the Holy Spirit of God and allow Him to reveal Jesus, who is the Spirit of Prophecy (Rev. 19:10), it is a road map or means to lead His people, to prepare them, for what is up ahead.  I am not a scholar on trained bible teacher, nor am I an eschatologist, as was the panel of experts last evening. I am just a woman who has learned to listen to that small, still voice of her Messiah. No one knows the day nor hour of the Lord's return, yet, the Holy Spirit, whom Jesus Himself sent to us at His departure from earth, does still work in increments of revealed revelation, and He navigates the times and seasons 'knowing the end from the beginning' (Is. 46:10). Only God knows the end (the Tav) from the beginning (Aleph). He 'reads' the whole book of time, and sets things in order and motion from back to front. God reveals prophetic timetables so we can be prepared, aware and be ready. Scripture tells us that from cover to cover: be prepared, be aware, be ready. (Luke 21:36).

 Not long after my husband passed away, his sister made me a CD of his favorite music, most of which he could play and sing quite well on guitar. One song, with lyrics originally written by the Beatles, and recorded by Crosby, Stills and Nash, is 'Blackbird'.  If I am out and about, or in the car, and that song comes on the radio, I have to pull the car over and just take it all in. I can still picture him, after a grueling 14 hour day, coming home dead tired from work, and picking up that guitar to sing away the blues, and get refreshed with the music. Certain songs that Ben would sing can still get to me. I have been changed forever by the man who sang to me and wanted me always to sing with him. Here is an excerpt from the lyrics to Blackbird: "Blackbird singing in the dead of night. Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arise." 

 I remember often how I would come in the door and Ben would be sitting on the edge of the bed or sofa, and strumming away to 'Sanctuary' or 'V'Ahavta' from Marty Goetz  (c.Marty Goetz  'Sanctuary' CD 1999).
The words to the V'Ahavta' (Dt. 6:5-9) and 'Sanctuary' are inside of me in a way they can never be taken. God has used Ben's life to carve the truth of these words into me, and once the matrix of the most significant people and moments of our life happen, we can never go back to be who we once were.

 I hear the Lord tell me this morning "look up, your redemption draweth nigh'  (Luke 21:28). There are many ways we are redeemed. There is the final redemption, when we 'shall be changed' and our corruptible bodies receive His immortality, and we are made like Him. There is the daily redeeming; how we think, how we perceive, who we are. Then there is the redeeming of our lives, where God matches us up with the peoples and individuals who will most need us, so they can become all they were meant to be, and the ones we most need, so we can reach our destination. I know God is even now redeeming me in all these areas.

 One of my husband's favorite musicals was The Music Man  Whether it was the music Ben played on the guitar, or the shows he had acted or sung in, Ben and I knew that great lyrics could capture the essence of a life, a moment in time like nothing else. Quoting from Professor Harold Hill to the the librarian Marian Paroo: "Oh, my dear little librarian. You pile up enough tomorrows, and you'll find you are left with nothing but a lot of empty yesterdays. I don't know about you, but I'd like to make today worth remembering."  Harold Hill was right. Don't wait till tomorrow to experience life. Love today. Give it. Treasure it. Share it. Find it. Keep it. Bathe yourself in it. Your family. Your mate. Your children. Your God.

 One of my favorite songs Ben used to sing to me from The Music Man was the duet between the Librarian and Harold Hill, Till There Was You.  If I am out in public and that song is played somewhere, it stops me dead in my tracks. I can't move for a moment, and my face is wet with buckets of tears. I can still hear Ben singing that to me. There are certain songs and certain memories, that will become so precious to you in time, that they will form the matrix of your soul, and it will become a place where God will visit and dwell and imprint His understanding into you. Because the Lord wanted you to be born so He could know you. Not just the words of a lover, but the words of a God, to make them into your words:

  "Till There Was You." from The Music Man.

There were bells on the hill
But I never heard them ringing,
No, I never heard them at all
Till there was you.

There were birds in the sky
But I never saw them winging
No, I never saw them at all
Till there was you.

And there was music,
And there were wonderful roses,
They tell me,
In sweet fragrant meadows of dawn, and dew.

There was love all around
But I never heard it singing
No, I never heard it at all
Till there was you!

A little Chutzpah goes a long way - Get Psalm 27:1 courage

Chutzpah is a Yiddish word derives from the Hebrew word ḥutspâ (חֻצְפָּה), meaning "insolence" or "audacity". Some would call it a too-big boldness. It should not be rude or vain, it is simply knowing something so fervently, that you can't be dissuaded. Let me give you a for instance:

   ... There was this lively 98 year-old Jewish man named Mortimer. He had outlived 3 of his wives.  One day, he and his buddy Harold were playing cards, and Morty says to Harold, 'You know, I met the most beautiful 27 year old blonde. She's a dancer. I'm in love.  I'm going to marry her'.   
  .... Harold stares at Morty and let's out a loud OY!  "What are you meshuge (crazy)!  She's 27. She's so young. And she's blonde!  Morty, vhat is this crazy talk. You are 98.  Aren't you afraid of death!   Morty says nothing for a moment, and he looks eyeball to eyeball with Harold and says, "Harold, no I'm not afraid of death. If she dies, she dies".  

Now, that's chutzpah!  I'm a lot like Morty. I just know I am going to outlast the enemy who tried to take me out of the game once too often. I wasn't always like this, but God has seasoned me in the pressure-cooker of life, and from what I can see, I am still standing. Many times I didn't think I would last, and more than once I begged God to turn down the stove. But, I'm still here. Kind of like a determined knowing, a sense of certainty, that you are not the one to be vanquished, but the one who will triumph in the end. This is the destiny and future for all those who trust in the Lord, and just refuse to give up! To me, a 'holy' chutzpah is not pride. Pride is an offshoot of a selfish vanity. Chutzpah is not a cockiness or inflated ego either, in the truest sense of the word. It is what the young shepherd David exhibited when he went out to slay Goliath and said with assurance "who is this uncircumcised Philistine who dares to defy the armies of the Living God".   1 Samuel 17:26

 David knew he had a covenant with God (circumcision),  and a calling. He remembered what he had learned from the Torah, and had heard his elders tell him, 'just listen to these oaths and promises God made to our people, handed down from Abraham.'  David knew that the God of Israel had revealed Himself as the one true God over all things. The cursing, mocking, giant Goliath, was not to be feared, but was to be taught a lesson, in David's eyes, as to whom really was in charge. Now, that is Chutzpah. When we know to whom we belong, and what is our portion (destiny) and calling for this life, when we know we have heard from the Lord, and have His promises, we can be assured that the only one to really fear is God, to whom your body and soul will answer and stand before one day. Luke 12:5   This doesn't mean we won't feel fear, or have trepidations to go forward, but fear will not have the 'power' over you nor can it control you, if you won't let it. You always need to come back to starting place: God is with me, I can do this through Him. If He is with me, who can really be against me? Who can block God's favor from you?

I am learning so many more lessons in my mid years than I did as a youngster about who I really am, and what I am not. I am not what the world, the flesh or the devil would say I am, I am whom God made and designed me to be, and it is His plan and purpose that I (we) accomplish our purpose for which we were born. All of us have purpose, but it can be a long and painful journey to discover the nuances of our identity. God is not a TV dinner or a microwave kind of God, and He doesn't give throw-away answers. What He works into your spirit is born of spiritual blood, sweat and tears. And a healthy measure of laughter and joy and relationships in the mix too. There is no instant fixes with God, in matter of character and development. Along the way, throughout all the seasons of your life, and if you are blessed with long life and length of days, you will have some stories to tell at the end of the road. The more I go on in God, the better it gets. Sure, there's still battles. There will always be battles to fight, tough places in life to go through, but the journey gets sweeter, and the rewards get richer, because when you know it's God who is blessing you, and using you, and it's all Him, you get to enjoy the ride with God, and He gets all the glory. That's what so wonderful about God. It has and will be HIM all along doing 'His good pleasure (work) in you' - and you almost get to watch Him work, in and through your life, as one who is in the passenger seat, just along for the ride. There is never a day in my life when I am not aware of the fact, that, just as the Apostle noted he was 
'a fool for Christ' (1st Corinthians 4:10 ),  I have been also. But, whose fool, really?  To act outside of the norm at times, or take risks, for good and eternal purposes, is that really being foolish. In contrast, in fearing what might be, and never trying, or believing, it is we who are really being foolish. Lives and potentials are wasted, and for what? I never regretted telling the people in my life I loved them, but more times than I want to remember, I omitted saying things I never got the chance say twice. So, take that risk.

When my husband used to ask me to do something I really didn't want to do - like when he would call me from work and ask me to set the DVR, program the DVD, don't forget to pop a tape in, tape this football game, or rewind this show...and then I had to run around the house in the next 5 minutes before the game started, and hoped I would pick up the right remote and push the right button on the four remotes in the three rooms and try to figure out what the heck he said and what was I suppose to press again. I used the standard line I used so often in our marriage. "I'm just a simple girl from a simple tribe. Don't ask me anything too hard." That made him laugh. And yet it was so true. I really am just a simple girl from a simple tribe.  I'm okay with that. I was never born to be an air-traffic controller (physics, yikes....I barely made it out of algebra and geometry class). If I was at the controls, the Atlantic Ocean would be filled to the brim with half of North America.  How about you? Has time seasoned you well? I have a kind of holy chutzpah, in knowing what I can do (In Him). What I am called to do (in Him).  I am very confident in the Lord's abilities. I don't have to depend on my own strength, I draw from His. He works through me and in me (and you), to His very good pleasure. As long as we keep that straight (you = God, me = your creation), it all works out fine. And there is so much joy in knowing God takes deep pleasure in working through us just the way we are. Be strong and confident. You are under the Highest Authority and under the Highest Protection in the Universe. Take 3 good and loving and courageous risks today. Say what is really on your heart, in the right way and time. Buy that gift you really want to give, but you wonder if it will be received or understood. You will be glad you did. You will be amazed at how good it will feel to be free to be you.      
Joshua 1:3-9    I promise you what I promised Moses: ‘Wherever you set foot, you will be on land I have given you ... No one will be able to stand against you as long as you live. For I will be with you as I was with Moses. I will not fail you or abandon you."       
Psalm 27:1   The LORD is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid?

Adonai's 'Department of Defense' War Strategy - coming soon!

                           Adonai's 'Department of Defense' War Strategy - coming soon!

  Woke up again at 3:30 a.m. like a cannon. Went to bed like any other night, and you know how it is when you wake up with thoughts swirling around your head. You can lay there and try to go back to sleep, or toss and turn and hope you fall back asleep, or just lay there awake staring at the ceiling. Finally, I position myself to be ready to listen, perhaps God is trying to say something to me. Today was that day. Several times in the last few weeks, the words of Jeremiah, Isaiah, and the Psalms have flashed across my thoughts like the high beams of a car driving too fast down the street at night. It is not a direct or clearly visible light that peers through the sides of the curtain and into the room, it is the indirect glare of the fast-moving traffic that awakens you. This is how it is with the Lord Adonai at 3:00 a.m. - He knows how to get your attention. Not a shout, not a light that blinds you, but a hint of something flashing across your soul that you can't put your finger on, but you can't leave it alone either. I believe, I truly believe, if we could learn to give God just those few moments in the night, or in the day, we would hear things coming out of heaven's newspapers before they hit the front pages on earth. We just don't give God the time to tell us what He so much wants to. Don't know what else to do but pray, and not sure how to pray this through. I sense I am to read Isaiah 19. It is a prophecy about Egypt. I read from the Complete Jewish Bible to understand this text in the original.

 "Look! ADONAI is riding a swift cloud, on his way to Egypt. Before him Egypt's idols tremble, Egypt's courage melts within them. 2 "I will incite Egypt against Egypt, brother will fight against brother, friend against friend, city against city, kingdom against kingdom. 3 The courage of Egypt will ebb away within it, I will reduce its counsel to confusion. They will consult idols and mediums, ghosts and spirits. 4 I will hand over the Egyptians to a cruel master. A harsh king will rule them," says the Lord, ADONAI-Tzva'ot. 5 The water will ebb from the sea, the river will be drained dry. 6 ...continue ' 17 Just mentioning the land of Y'hudah to the Egyptians will throw them into panic; they will be afraid because of what ADONAI-Tzva'ot has planned for them. 18 On that day there will be five cities in the land of Egypt that speak the language of Kena'an and swear loyalty to ADONAI-Tzva'ot; one of them will be called the City of Destruction. 19 On that day there will be an altar to ADONAI in the middle of the land of Egypt, as well as a standing-stone for ADONAI at its border. 20 It will be a sign and witness to ADONAI-Tzva'ot in the land of Egypt; so that when they cry out to ADONAI for help because of the oppressors, he will send them a savior to defend and rescue them. 21 ADONAI will make himself known to Egypt; on that day, the Egyptians will know ADONAI. They will worship him with sacrifices and offerings, they will make vows to ADONAI and keep them. 22 Yet ADONAI will strike Egypt, both striking and healing, so they will return to ADONAI. He will listen to their prayers, and he will heal them. 23 On that day there will be a highway from Egypt to Ashur. Ashur will come to Egypt and Egypt to Ashur, and Egypt will worship with Ashur. 24 On that day Isra'el will be a third partner with Egypt and Ashur, a blessing here on earth; 25 for ADONAI-Tzva'ot has blessed him: "Blessed be Egypt my people, Ashur the work of my hands and Isra'el my heritage."

  I know in my spirit I am living in and through a time in history that the Old Testament prophets, kings, and psalmists wrote about. CNN, MSNBC, and cable news outlets may not know that, and media bloggers and talking heads filling up tv air-space may never know the truth of this, but to those who know the voice of their Messiah, we know how this will play it. God knows the The End (Tav) from the Beginning (Bereshit). He knows how this all will play out. He recorded the events on parchment, all before it happened. He saw time and all of history in His heart, before it ever came to be. He else can write the news before it happens? Just last week, I was awakened with Isaiah 37 resting on my kishkas (my inward gut), and I knew God was telling me that He will destroy Assyria's pride, and reveal the Glory of His Son. In fact, Isaiah 37 makes it all so clear, even as to how He will protect Jerusalem from Assyria.


A little history on 'who is Assyria'.  Back in Genesis 10:22, we see that Shem's sons (Asshur and Aram) founded what the bible calls calls Assyria. Aram (originally known as Syria) conquerd the Northern Kingdom of Israel (730 BC). The Babylonians did conquer Assyria, and the remnant of Aram was no more. So the Assyrian homeland is now part of what is now Northern Iraq, part of the North of Iran, and Turkey to the south, and Northwestern part of Syria. (Ninevah, which was the capital Assyria, that famous city)  is found in Mosul, a city in Iraq today. Damascus, the capital of Syria, was once the capital of Aram. No matter what the news reports show, we know that God Will Protect Jerusalem From Assyria. And we know from (Isaiah 37:21-36), that God will surely defend Jerusalem, He will defend the nation of Israel. Allow me license here to excerpt from the first few lines of the Oath of Enlistment that all U.S. Armed Forces military say upon being sworn into active duty. It is as if the Lord Adonai is telling us......... "I (Lord Adonai) do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the (Nation of Israel) against all enemies, foreign and domestic, that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same".   Talk about not wanting to get on the wrong side of the law. World leaders and world governments that mess with God's property are sliding down a slippery slope, and fast. How can I make such a bold statement? For starters: I am quoting the Highest Authority in the Universe, from His own handbook. Psalm 122:6, Genesis 12:3, Zechariah 12: 1-14, Isaiah 60:12, Psalm 83: 1-18, Zechariah 2:8, to name a few. 
 

From Isaiah 37:21-36  "21 Then Isaiah the son of Amoz sent to Hezekiah, saying, "Thus says the LORD God of Israel, 'Because you have prayed to Me against Sennacherib king of Assyria,   22 this is the word which the LORD has spoken concerning him: "The virgin, the daughter of Zion, Has despised you, laughed you to scorn; The daughter of Jerusalem Has shaken her head behind your back!    23 "Whom have you reproached and blasphemed? Against whom have you raised your voice, And lifted up your eyes on high? Against the Holy One of Israel.   24 By your servants you have reproached the Lord, And said, 'By the multitude of my chariots I have come up to the height of the mountains, To the limits of Lebanon; I will cut down its tall cedars And its choice cypress trees; I will enter its farthest height, To its fruitful forest.   25 I have dug and drunk water, And with the soles of my feet I have dried up All the brooks of defense.'   26 "Did you not hear long ago How I made it, From ancient times that I formed it? Now I have brought it to pass, That you should be For crushing fortified cities into heaps of ruins.   27 Therefore their inhabitants had little power; They were dismayed and confounded; They were as the grass of the field And the green herb, As the grass on the housetops And grain blighted before it is grown.   28 "But I know your dwelling place, Your going out and your coming in, And your rage against Me.    29 Because your rage against Me and your tumult Have come up to My ears, Therefore I will put My hook in your nose And My bridle in your lips, And I will turn you back By the way which you came."'    30 "This shall be a sign to you: You shall eat this year such as grows of itself, And the second year what springs from the same; Also in the third year sow and reap, Plant vineyards and eat the fruit of them.

31 And the remnant who have escaped of the house of Judah Shall again take root downward, And bear fruit upward.    32 For out of Jerusalem shall go a remnant, And those who escape from Mount Zion. The zeal of the LORD of hosts will do this.   33 "Therefore thus says the LORD concerning the king of Assyria: 'He shall not come into this city, Nor shoot an arrow there, Nor come before it with shield, Nor build a siege mound against it.    34 By the way that he came, By the same shall he return; And he shall not come into this city,' Says the LORD.    35 'For I will defend this city, to save it For My own sake and for My servant David's sake.'" 36 Then the angel of the LORD went out, and killed in the camp of the Assyrians one hundred and eighty-five thousand; and when people arose early in the morning, there were the corpses -- all dead.    37 So Sennacherib king of Assyria departed and went away, returned home, and remained at Nineveh.    38 Now it came to pass, as he was worshiping in the house of Nisroch his god, that his sons Adrammelech and Sharezer struck him down with the sword; and they escaped into the land of Ararat. Then Esarhaddon his son reigned in his place.

 It only took one night for the Angel of the Lord to wipe out the whole Assyrian fighting army 700 years B.C. What would God do today if He went to defend Israel? I think we would all be watching it on the evening news! So the moral of the story here is; whether this nation (and I pray she does, for her own good!) stands with Israel or not, whether the United Nations lives up to its credo and defends those being unjustly persecuted, or whether all the nations of the world believe all the lies of her enemies, God will not sleep, He will not forget, and He will not allow Israel to be destroyed. The Messiah and King called 'The Son of God' will one soon day enter into Jerusalem to sit upon King David's throne, and He Himself will rule this planet. Do you think for a moment the Father in Heaven is about to allow Israel to be nearly wiped out again? Never! If you are wise you will remember the words of Genesis 12:3  "I will bless those who bless you (Israel), and curse those who curse you." 

"So Eat Already, laugh, and enjoy your God, your company, and these blessings"

               "So Eat Already, laugh and enjoy your company. Today's blessings are meant for you "

  Let's face it. We all have them. Family stories that only 'the family' gets. Or funny stories that only friends who have known you a long time can truly appreciate. I just had some of the most wonderful friends leave the house, after a 'work party' day. Guys with tool belts and saws and power tools. Man, there is nothing like it. My old Phillips screw driver just wasn't getting the job done, and I had some 'fix-it' jobs that were way beyond my pay grade. I'll do all the food and refreshments and freebies from the closet, if you can handle the rest and play Tim the Tool Man. What a good trade. So my good buddies and their wives (my very good buddies) came over to the house today, Sunday, and we rocked it for 7 hours. Why is it you feel more motivated to work if you are not doing it alone? There is something about about a group project that makes the work go so much smoother. I loved it. I feed people, and they work. It's so me. I love the es prit de corps, the funny stories, a full table with fresh bread and a salad with everything in it but the kitchen sink, grated extra-dry cheddar sharp cheese, homemade pasta and my secret recipe spaghetti (paired with a good dry red wine of course), and talk and jokes and hands flying in the air, pets hanging out under the table hoping for a morsel, and people laughing. Getting hungry yet? For me, it doesn't get any better than this. I was made for this kind of evening. I don't know if this is what heaven 's wedding feast will be like, but if it is even close, I don't want to miss it. (Revelation 19:9). Enjoying each other, enjoying the food, enjoying the stories, enjoying life; makes the day feel good, the weekend even better, and it promises the week will start off right. (And for me, knowing there are 2 craftsman at the table who actually know how to use all these tools and fix things, and not having to figure out how to do it myself, made it all the better for me). Let the guys do it. I'll cook and do the dishes. Love having a house full of people and laughter and full bellies at the dinner table. So eat already!

  Happy house guests bring a joy to the home like few things can, and I am loving my home and my life in a big way today, all because the table is full and the plates and glasses are empty, and no one wants to leave. I don't care if you want second's or third's, just don't leave hungry (in your belly or your soul). That's my motto). We are having too much fun at this table. There is no place I'd rather be than with people who don't want to leave the kitchen table after 3 hours because we are having that much fun. Love is ripe, laughter is present, stomachs are satisfied, and new friendships are happening, all because of the good bounty the Lord has provided. Pinch me, am I in heaven?

     "Go thy way, eat thy bread with joy, and drink thy wine with a merry heart; for God hath already accepted thy works.Go thy way, eat thy bread with joy, and drink thy wine with a merry heart; for God hath already accepted thy works." Ecclesiastes 9:7

  I remember not along after I got married, my husband Ben and I (who were living on a military base overseas); decided he wanted me to take the night off and relax after dinner, and he would clean up the kitchen. I went for a walk, only to come back in the kitchen and see that there were plastic sandwich bags all over the glass ware and in the dish rack hanging upside down. He had emptied out the drawer full of plastic food bags and had hung them up over everything. I looked at him and asked him "what are you doing. Why are there sandwich bags all over everything?" He said he noticed that was the way that his (Czechoslovakian - 'me' ) wife always did the dishes? He knew I was a bit of a clean freak, so he thought maybe us Czeck's made the glassware extra clean by putting a bag over them to keep the germs out? After laughing like a hyena for about 10 minutes, I explained to my darling groom that I didn't take out new, clean bags to put over glassware, I just happened to be washing the already used dirty bags and hanging them upside down to dry over the dish rack or glass. Well, I think that was the last time he volunteered to do the dishes for a while. But we had a good laugh over that one. (Proverbs 17:22).

  So in the midst of all the hard and not so easy places in life and in the everyday mundane things we do over and over, every now and then, take a minute to enjoy some good friends, some good food, and have a good laugh. This is every bit as holy and good as any other measure of virtue you will ever spend. Enjoy your God, Enjoy your life, Enjoy one another. If you do it well, you will have wonderful stories to tell and remember, even in the hereafter. As they say in Italy when facing some serious pasta on the plate before you. "Manja, Manja" So Eat already!

"Isaiah 32: 1-2 - "You Got The Right Stuff"

                                           "Isaiah 32: 1-2 - "You've got The Right Stuff"

   It's a slow-starting Saturday morning. Late nights all this week, and too many 5 am wake ups. Today is one of those days, when the sun is peaking through the curtains, and the day promises a fruitfulness of purpose, and I am needing to connect with Papa before I do much else. Sometimes, it's not the loud sounds where God is calling you to sit with Him, it's the subtle singing of a hummingbird or kids playing next door, where you most easily find God. He is more in the everyday stuff of life than you can ever imagine. And the colors of my life are at best, a muted grey, without the splash of fuchsia and violet He throws into my imagination. I can't live well, when I can't feel, see, touch and know Him, in the simple 5-minute connect each new day brings. It's like I can hear Him strumming His thoughts into me, like a jazz musician who has played all night long in a New Orleans honky-tonk. The feel of the previous night's dancing is still in the room, you can smell some old cigars still wafting in the air, the never-slept musicians still can't put their pics down, and you just know that everyone had a great time last night. You can feel the life that was lived in that room last night as if the walls remember the fun. That is how He feels to me today. I feel God wanting to be here, and make His presence known. He feels sweet today, like He is waiting to say something rich.


  He is strumming His vibes on His guitar, and He wants me to catch His melody. That is how easy it is to be with God. You just have to learn to recognize His voice, and listen. Like any art form, in time, your Spirit can catch a whiff of what His Spirit is thinking, and like any really great friendship that has been cultivated over time, you start to feel and think and know what is on His heart. I would not trade anything, anywhere, at any time, for any price, to ever lose this. I can live without a lot of things, but I cannot live without His presence. It would be worse than death to me, if I lost this presence that is better than life.

  I think about last night. I drove a friend home from a Chanukah party late last night, and on that long ride home (and naturally, despite the talking smart phone -which can be pretty dumb at times if you ask me), we still got a lost (just for 20 minutes). I start laughing in the car picturing Ben in heaven probably rolling over laughing somewhere and shaking his head "I can't believe she still hasn't used her navigator or map. She hasn't programmed it yet". We talk about a lot of things - mostly, the shared experiences we have gone through in both losing our spouses, suddenly within 7 weeks."  We have come through by God's grace, both of us, and are weathering life's challenges, knowing it is only the grace God has put in us, and the day by day dependence on Him, that will see us out of this maze and into the clearing, what we now call 'our new normal'. See, nothing is ever really the 'old' normal again when life shakes up the mix and you have to re-define and re-learn and re-engage and re-start and re-boot it all. You don't know where he ended and you began, because you were one. And now you begin again. Every day is different. But it's okay. Because our Father has a plan. And all of God's plans and purposes are good, even when life is hard and violent and sharp. God is sweet, and His sweetness only gets more tender in time. You will know that if you ever need to find that out. You find out how deliciously sweet is His presence and care for you when you need it most.

 This morning, as I sit with my Messiah, I think about the husband, parents, friends, and friends in the Lord that have graced my life. Some of my dearest friends in life have come through, as they say, hell and high water, this past year or two. A good friend from back home of more than 20 years, who was with me when I met Ben years ago, and laughed and danced with us at our wedding, she buried her daughter to cancer just 2 years ago. She and her husband cared for, loved, fed and bathed their beloved daughter, and cared for her children, as she departed for glory. No parent should ever have to bury a child, and yet it happens. I think today of a dear, dear friends in the Lord, whose own adult child is fighting for his life in a hospital 2 hours north of here. In the midst of living their life, taking care of everyone, a freak and sudden illness strikes their son, and now they sit and wait by his bedside, and trust the Great Physician to lay His Healing Hands upon their son. We never are, nor can we ever be, truly prepared for those epic moments that steal away our breathe, shock our senses, or bring us to our knees. But, we can make it through and even beyond, when we know we are in the Lord's care, and He has answers, ways, plans and purposes we will never fully understand on this earth. And mostly, we just need to be loved well by those who care for us the most.

 I think today of my (late) father, Victor. What a man he was! Not that we spoke like a King (he didn't). His colorful language, often was peppered with the best one-liners this side of the Catskills. He was a hard working-man, 2 jobs, hard labor, and never complained, went to work, sick or tired. But man, did he ever have a way with words (I think I get that from him). His observational humor was unlike anyone else I ever knew. We'd be in the car going somewhere, and the old guy in the car in front of us, who was daydreaming  as the light turned green, would have everyone honking and people yelling epithets out the window, and  Dad would look over at us kids (his captive audience) and shake his head and say "I bet the guy doesn't even know what year it is. He probably doesn't even know he is living. We should wake him up". Dad had a million of them. Never rehearsed, never planned. But what I remember most about Dad, was that he was always there. His word was his word. If he said he would be there at 2:07 sharp to pick you up, by golly, you'd better be standing there on the street corner there at 2:07 and be ready. Now my sister (who is in heaven now) and I, well, Dad used to say we might be late for our own funeral's. When my Dad was frustrated he would hum, and Viki and I had Dad humming a lot growing up. HHHHHhhhhhmm. He would just shake his head and look at us and say "I'm glad I wasn't handcuffed to a ghost and hanging by my neck at 2:07, or I'd be dead now". It was his own brand of humor, and all of us in the family, we got it. We got him. But Dad always had the Right Stuff.  He kept his word. Always. He was there for his family. Always. He did what he said he was going to do, and he protected, loved and worked hard for us. The bills were paid, food was on the table, and we were warm. I have seen a lot of things in my years on earth, and when I was younger, I had been courted by some charming men. But none of it meant as much to me as a  man who keeps his promises, and protects those he loves. A faithful heart is the best part of a man, to me.

  Ben had that same quality. He protected his wife, his family, their name, their honor, his friends, and even his pets. He 'covered' us all with a blanket of hope: I am there for you, I will always be there for you. Day or night, you can count on me. Forget the flash in the pans, they will pass. It's funny, not long after we married, Ben was looking at a box of old pictures, and I heard him give out a 'whoa' when he saw me in my 20's. Youth and beauty are more obvious than wisdom [in anyone under 30]. Ben said 'honey, can you look like that again'. I then showed him a picture of himself with hair, and replied 'only if you can too. We will both be spending money for plastic surgery'. We laughed and realized we really were happy, just the way we were. We had 'the right stuff'. (And truth be told, his head with less hair on it than 20 years earlier was far more attractive to me now, because I knew the brains and zest for life inside that head which made him unique). Ben used to tell me his (Dutch-Jewish) mother would say to him as a young boy "Allemaal Hersens" ('all brains' and then pat his head).  And I never knew a man who had so many wonderful dreams, inventions, hopes and ambitions and just sheer joy, the joy of living, going on at one time, inside of him. What made him wonderful was who he had become, and if time had to march on or steal a few hair shafts to get him to that place, oh well, so be it. What counts is what lasts, that is what I call 'the Right Stuff". Real friends, who will be there for you and with you come what may; that's the Right Stuff.  Faithful spouses and faithful parents and faithful friends, there is nothing to compare to this. "See, a King will reign with righteousness and rulers will rule with justice. Each man will be like a shelter from the the wind, and a refuge from the storm, like streams of water in the desert, and the shadow of a great rock in a thirsty land." Is. 32:1-2

 For me, the non-sequitur of youth; is that at 20 or 30, you want to keep your looks and your strength, but you want to know what only those who have lived long, and hard and well, can know. Just like the Latin phrase 'non-sequitur' (meaning 'it does not follow') - the conclusion will never follow the premise. There are some things you can only know by living through them. Like that 1983 movie that Ben so loved 'The Right Stuff', which honored the U.S. Mercury 7 Astronauts, Ben used to tell me he couldn't wait to get to space, and if he had a chance, he would want to go. When the talk of civilians possibly taking space travels had come up, discussed by the Richard Branson types of inventors and adventurous explorers, Ben once asked me if I wanted to go into space with him. 'Ya gotta be kidding honey, I don't even want to get on the DC Beltway with you'  ha ha. I would say, I'll wait till the rapture (Mt. 24:30-36) till I take my first space-flight. I know who'll be driving  (the Son of God and and the Holy Spirit) and I know where I'm going I don't have to worry about making it back. [Well, my beloved, you have a view from heaven now that is beyond your wildest dreams now]. You had the Right Stuff.

 

"His Words will take you to your finish line".

 "His Words will take you to your finish line"    Out of the gate - to the end of the race"

'Ktiva'  said Max (the young Jewish man in hiding) to young Liesel Meminger (played by Sophie NElisse), in "The Book Thief". "Write". He wanted Sophie to write. That would become her tool of survival, her means to endure, her mental and emotional means of escape. Words and books became everything to her, and as the story unfolds, she risks it all for these words. As Max, the Jew hiding in the basement of Sophie's foster parents home, hands the young girl a book he made with blank pages, he wants her to Ktiva (write) her words, on these pages. This is Hitler's Germany, and as dark as the times are, what shines is the courage of this young girl, who risks everything, to read, to dream and to hope. The sweet relationship between the foster father Hans, (played by Geoffrey Rush), and the orphaned girl he and his wife take in in this World War 11 drama is worth seeing. A good movie or book shows us the power that words can impart.

 There is a picture that I had made for my husband when he was stationed overseas. It perfectly stated what had happened to us both in six months time. The words are from the poet/writer John Donne, and they are: "More than kisses, letters mingle souls". I put those words against a picture of a harvest, a man tilling the soil, facing the sun. That little framed picture traveled everywhere we lived, and hung up in every bedroom. It said it all, and still hangs on the bedroom wall. It was really words that bound us together, more than dreams, more than hopes, more than plans. It was the words we shared that told us who we were, and what we might become. Words have power. They can impart life or death, hope or defeat. Words can create out of nothing. God's words created everything from nothing, and we are made in His image. If we only knew how powerful a tool a carefully spoken word can be, we might be more careful to choose them wisely.

 We know God takes words very seriously. It was His words which made covenants with people, it was His words which declared blessings over His creation.(Genesis 1).  It was His words that instilled identity in a people, and carved out boundaries and geographies for them. It was His words which encouraged, taught and instructed His Kings, His prophets, and His sages.(Matthew 4:4).  It was His words which lifted the lowly, gave strength to the weak, and gave hope to the dying. It was His words which called His Son's body out of a grave and made Him the first-fruit of all who would believe they too could live forever in glory. (1st Corinthians 15:20). Now, if we can only believe that our words can have that Dunamis power of God, what might we see happen in our lifetime. Referencing again the movie above, the young girl Liesel found a strength in words, both written and spoken, that was greater than what she could see with her eyes. Although it is our five senses that take in what we know to be true of this world; there is so much we would know if we could live deeper than the nose on our face and the eyes in our socket. What if, just what if, we listen to the voice of God within, when He speaks with words, into our spirit, and believe for what we do not see, and cannot perceive with the naked eye? Isn't this what Jesus (Yeshua) was referring to when He said "the Kingdom (all that is possible and good and true) is within"? (Luke 17:21). When Jesus said "if you would only believe" (Mark 9:23)...just what was it, and is it, that He is asking us to believe? I believe He is asking us to believe what the Spirit of God is speaking to our spirit today. He is not asking you to believe for someone else ability to hear God for you, or someone else to show God to to you, He is asking you to believe that He can and does and will reveal Himself to you, if you will only believe.

  In my years walking this terra-firma, I have come to accept and have made peace with who and what I am, and what I am not. I know my strengths as well as my weaknesses, and trust me, it's good to be well- acquainted with both. It will keep you grounded and balanced. You will not think too highly or too badly of yourself when you see what you really are. You will have a honest understanding of the fabric of your soul, and you will really know what you are, because God will show you who you are.  When you have nothing to lose, you lose the fear of saving face. I know when I was a young woman in college,  I couldn't decide on which man to marry (I decided to wait), which career path to take (I had quite a few), or which road to take. I always seemed to take the road that was harder or longer, and often I was on that path by myself.  I paid for my life and education by no less than several part-time jobs at once: but the best job I ever had which taught me more about people than anything else was waiting tables. I learned more about life by taking care of peoples basic needs (hunger and thirst and loneliness) than any other job. If you can handle a busy restaurant and can put up with the good, the bad and the ugly, you can handle life. I learned more by feeding hungry people than I ever did on a stage.All in all, when I look back on those years, I almost have to laugh. Could have saved a lot of time and money, and it might have been easier, had I just done it God's way the first time. But I was stubborn. God is used to dealing with stubborn and impetuous people, and He has a way of drawing them to Himself like no one else can. Those who have a strong will that needs to be bent are God's ace in the hole for troubled times. God specializes in taming wild stallions and filly's just as He can tame a wild soul. You can say that the Lord tamed and trained this race horse, and now I can run the race for God with speed and strength, because His bit and his reigns have been stronger than mine. How much time do we need to really believe all of God's words to us? The time left for this world is shorter than when I grew up. It isn't just your life or my life at stake anymore, there will be those who God will join alongside of us, those who may come after us, who need what we have been through, so they can finish their race. That's the purpose of the struggle, not only to shape us, but to leave something behind for others. I know all this because of words. His Words to me. Spoken in private. Whispered to my spirit. His words trained and broke me, and then they healed me and rebuilt me. This is the power of God's words. Never forget what He says to you. It will be the one true thing that keeps you going and will take to your finish line.

"This last year taught me what time was really all about"

                                              'This last year taught me what time is really all about"

  Sometimes, it feels as if we are Alice in Wonderland, and we never really know what time it is. Like the Mad Hatter and the March Hare, and Alice, we all are stuck at 6:00 p.m. But we know in our hearts it is really later than that. But how late, really.  (Remember that catchy tune from 3 Dog Night in the 70's) "Does anyone really know what time is it:, does anyone really care". Well I tell you, God knows what time it is. And God really does care. What time is it really on God's clock for our lives? Do you want to know?

  We are forever changed as the events and passages of time carve their wisdom, their pain, and their seasons into our soul. As Lewis Carroll wrote in (Alice in Wonderland), "I can't go back to yesterday because I was a different person then."  I know I can't go back to yesterday's for any other reason than a school lesson. I can look back to 3, 5, 10, 20, 30 years ago, and I can see with astute acuity what I could not perceive then. I didn't know life or the way time would carve out a melancholy yet hauntingly beautiful canvass on which the Creator would stop by to paint, into my soul. How can you know at 25 what you know deeply at 50? Even in a year's time, what I have learned since my beloved Ben went to be with the Lord has changed me. The death of a husband, sister, extended relatives and friends in a year's time has changed me. It was as if a magnifying glass was put to my soul, and suddenly, I could see, the flaws,. the imperfections, the wounds, the unfinished business of living, in both words and deed, with a clarity that was at the same time: fearful yet beautifully truthful, all at the same time. 'Suddenlies' have a way of doing that to us. 'Suddenlies' change us. I remember, a little more than a year since my husband's passing, the times he asked me to lie aside of him and watch a favorite football game, or watch a favorite movie for the umpteenth time. Uugh, I used to think. No, I don't want to watch this movie for the 50th time. I have more important things to do, I would think to myself. Now, I realize, nothing was more important than to share that moment in time with a man who so deeply loved and cherished me, and all he wanted was my time. I cherished and loved him too, but as we all do, we think we have all the time in the world, for this or that, or later we'll do, say, this or that. But sometimes, later never comes. This last year taught me that. I have forgiven myself for being human. You have to. Or you will lose your sanity, your soul. your perspective. If you expect yourself to be more than human (superhuman fatalism) you can't last the test of grace. I know that I know that Ben knew I deeply loved him, and, when God took him to heaven, I know the Lord showed him how much he was loved by us all, his family. That is enough. What can you add to perfection? 

  This last year, I think, how petty it was of me to get annoyed with a sister who could go on and on and on about some silly or mundane thing, or kvetch so about things which mattered little. My beautiful sister was sick for a long time. The illness that took her like in 2012 had a dual purpose: I see now that it also arrested my selfishness in the same year: little did I know that her death would cause me to see how selfish I really was, in ways that I could not see until confronted by the sudden loss of her. Most would say "but Liz, you're only human'. You can only take, listen to, hear so much. You have nothing to feel ashamed of, or guilty for. And technically, that may be true. But spiritually (where God lives - which is in the heart and soul of a person) - I knew I could have loved more, listened more, been a little more patient, a little more forgiving. But it was easier to dismiss as I can't take one more email, another phone call, another this or that. We all have our days when we don't have the extra grace for someone else, it is all we can do to take care of ourselves to get through hat day. This is not a guilt trip - it's a honesty trip. As I sit at this PC at Thanksgiving 2013 - and my family has just left for that long drive back home, and the food is put away, the dishes are done, and I am thinking about the intense quietness of the room after the lives I shared my growing up with have left this room, I am struck by how we really enter this world alone, and leave alone. My husband was on the ER gurney, and my sister died alone in the bedroom down the hall, and for those few seconds, I could not save them. But God was there. His angels were there. Was anyone more really needed than Him? After all, if God is not enough, what in God's name do we think we have to offer?

  I chuckle when I sit in my lovely living room, and I remember when Ben would look at the clock on the hutch and it said "6:05" and the clock on the wall said "6:15" and the kitchen clock read "6:25". I can still hear him saying..."for crying out loud, I feel like Alice in Wonderland in here. What time is it really"?
I hadn't reset any clocks, for some reason, even the best clocks I could buy, would skip a beat or minutes here and there. Only the Atomic Clock upstairs kept that mean Greenwich time, and it was accurate. Ben was a man who hated 2 things in life: only 2 things I can think of. He hated being late, and he hated getting lost. (Both of which are two areas which have been a perpetual nemesis for me). Well, I know in the final analysis, Ben conquered both. He was on-time and ready for his departure from earth to heaven, he was ready physically and spiritually. And I know that his compass was accurate: I know that there were angels in the Emergency Room that night as they came to escort  my beloved to his eternal home. I know, because I was there, and I know what I saw, what I heard, what God spoke to me, and what I will forever know.
The two most important things to Ben, he did well. He was on time, and in the right place, and at the right time.
 
 When our 'time' is over, what will be said of us? Will we have been 'on time' for our generation, our family, our loved ones, our calling, our time on this place of earth. I hope so. And I pray I will end up being at the right place, at the right time. If we can do those two things well, we have done a lot. We will finish well.